A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
