Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
