Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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