So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
