Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
