no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
