with your own penis?
...so i touched it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
