no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
