I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
