How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Randomize
