onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
