Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
