At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
