Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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