Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
