Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
