David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
