if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
