So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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