And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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