My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
