You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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