I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think a kid would responsible me up
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize