ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
