I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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