Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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