How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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