My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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