I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
