So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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