hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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