I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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