Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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