after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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