yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Randomize
