you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Still dying that you shit outside
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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