She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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