Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Randomize
