This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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