my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
