im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I checked into jail on foursquare
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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