I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
