Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
