he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
