I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
