Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize