where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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