i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
