he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
