Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
