I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
