just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
