Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
