I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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