based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
