What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
