Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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