you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
