Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
