remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
