how hairy? two words: wookie tits
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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