he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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