Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
