Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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