no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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