He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
