Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
