Do you still have your period?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
