so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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