pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
