so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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